Damn right the world is one big Nervous Nelly right now. I assure you, we in Canada have been watching the polls like no polls have ever been watched before. Those polls are starting to feel like 15-year-old Miss Teen USA contestants in the aforementioned creeped-upon change rooms when Mr. Trump chooses to take stock.
"Take your eyes off my sample size," say those polls. "You already checked those."
We're watching America like you'd watch your next-door neighbours pace around their back yard with a measuring tape. We do this day after day in this 100 Years Election. They are loudly debating whether they should get a dog or instead install a giant pit full of man-eating saltwater crocodiles.
"I don't know, baby, we could probably fit four dozen of the ravenous reptilian guys in here, if we moved little Emily's swing set over a bit, and you know, I read on the Internet in an e-mail that Labradors are prone to hip dysplasia," we keep hearing from across our world's largest undefended picket fence.