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MOM - Job Description
POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mamma JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players
needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills
and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel
required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not
reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at
least temporarily, until someone needs $5 or turns 21. Must be willing to
bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack
mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat, in case,
this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social
gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to
be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle
assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys,
and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be
prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor
maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to
remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can
ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training
offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises
and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could
only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
& kisses for life if you play your cards right.
REJOICE更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
MOM - Job Description
POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mamma JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players
needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills
and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel
required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not
reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at
least temporarily, until someone needs $5 or turns 21. Must be willing to
bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack
mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat, in case,
this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social
gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to
be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle
assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys,
and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be
prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor
maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to
remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can
ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training
offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises
and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could
only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
& kisses for life if you play your cards right.
REJOICE更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net