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Thanks a lot for your reply, 饺子MM

Your this series reads pretty much like Carrie's in "Sex and the City" to me. To be honest, I used to think love is something eternity with one's 101% efforts. But now I think it's overly exposed, it is anything but words. To some extent, dating with one's own heart is more important than with a partner. The more friends you make, the less of yourself you hold for your own good. It's not about asking, neither giving nor simply receiving, it's the price you would like to pay for a enjoyable company. Love may not be for sale at any price, but I think loneliness is.
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  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 爱情新解(3)Beyond repair
    • 对, 即使是修理好手,时间, 耐心,信心,成本和牺牲都会让人考虑再三。对损坏严重的,与其越描越黑,还不如让它去。by the way,我是安乐S的支持者,生命也是一样,与其活着有问题,不如S过从来,
      • 得到不易,放弃更难。不过学会放弃,有退一步海阔天空的感觉
        • 每件事基本上都有诞生和死亡周期,身体,爱情都不例外,当拥有时,好好爱惜,好好把握;当衰老时,不必怅惘,继续努力;当死亡时,欣然告别,无怨无悔。。。放弃总是最不易的
    • 用中文挺好的,怎么改用英文了?
      • 就这个系列
    • Maybe customize the relationship at the first place, maybe it will last longer, then you do not need to fix it later.
      • yes, if we take care of things...usually they can last longer
    • "Is it insecurity, face, fear, a sense of failure, uncertainty about the future, lack of confidence that keep us from taking the next step? " very good point.
    • 如果, 爱情是物质的话, 那么她并非不可修理, 如果, 爱情是精神的话, 那么她无法修理,
      如果, 爱情是物质的话, 那么她并非不可修理, 然而对很多人来说, 成本让人却步; 如果, 爱情是精神的话, 那么她无法修理, 因为很多事情不是理所当然, 否则又谈什么所谓"无可理喻"呢? 世界是分为2部分的, 有逻辑的一半, 和没有逻辑的一半. 你觉得呢?
      • 很有趣的看法!我倾向于爱情是精神的,但是也不是无法修理,而是要两个人都evolve,还要在这个evolution之后两人还在同一个轨道上,挺难,但不是不可能
        • 饺子,你的馅我很欣赏,可是,你的皮我真的不敢苟同
          • 哦?皮是什么?馅是什么?:)
            • 羊肉馅加棒子面皮,般配吗?呵呵
              • 还是没明白,再给指点一下?那部分是皮那部分是馅,俺可有两个月没吃饺子了:)
                • 馅乃内涵,皮乃纷纷扰扰之凡事,呵呵。好久没有吃饺子,就别称谓饺子了,免得人误会
                  • 我刚包了蒸饺。
                  • 既然你知道什么样的馅用什么样的皮, 那请你告知以下概念的内涵和外延, 并做成好吃的饺子, 分给大家: friend, boy (girl) friend, feeling, love, marriage, sex, child and life.
                    most of people make confusion. sometimes they use same concept expressing different meaning, opposite, they use different concepts expressing same things.
                    I think they also the key point of your answer by #1533712
        • 经过evolution的爱情是修补吗? 进化是自然选择的过程, 爱情的升华也是一样 ==== 如果, 努力地去主观定义自己的爱情和对另一半的塑造, 从另一个角度来看, 不是对人性的最大扭曲吗?
          当然, 偶很同意你对evolution的意见. 其实, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE里面的俩人都没有刻意地去修补出现的裂痕, 而是自然地去缝合. 做针线活的, 不是他们俩个, 而是自然的本性.
          • 这是我今天最受启发的贴子!:)
          • 那你一定不相信一辈子的爱情。你太可怜。我却相信。
            • THAT IS A KIND OF LOVE YOU SHOOCE, BUT NOT ONTHER WANT.
            • 应该这样说: 偶不相信一生一世的甜蜜爱情, 但偶坚信此生不渝的婚姻. 婚姻, 难道不是爱情的升华版吗? 爱到至情至信, 不就超越了爱情吗? :D
          • 呵呵,你说"进化是自然选择的过程",我有不同意见,人是进化的结果,那么人就有了改变自然,影响进化过程和方向的能力. 人是有主观能动性的,这种主观能动性正是体现在改变影响自然进化程度上
            在社会学角度上, 正如伟人可以改变或者延迟,歪曲社会历史进程一样,例如文化大革命.

            从爱情婚姻来看,两个人从认识到结合的过程,必然是一个相互影响,相互改变对方自然一面的过程.也就是说原有的一些生活习惯,性格,生活观,价值观受到了对方的影响而在改变. 人有能力影响或者控制这个自然,这个过程.当然这会产生两个结果:1, 系统的稳定--- 被改变后的稳定状态 2, 系统的崩溃 ---- 两个人分开各自重新选择.

            单纯从自然,进化角度来理解感情,人之间的关系是不全面的. 人有能力控制,影响或者改变这种关系的, 其结果当然不一定是好的.但是这种影响,改变正是构成人的感情,人之间的关系最重要的一环
            • 不管伟人的改变或延迟或歪曲, 社会进程总会在自己的轨道上完成纠正, 就象明清时代对资本主义雏形的扼杀, 并没有阻止中国走向开放, 爱情不也一样么?
              其中爱情当中的判断与误会, 如果2个人最终仍然在一起, 因为他们适合, 他们可以共同面对并处理这些问题, 反之, 是自然选择让他们分开.......

              偶也不是单纯从自然,进化角度来理解感情, 偶只是用一种语言宏观的去谈本质. 爱情当然是自然选择的过程, 2个人之间的误会, 不同的行为方式和理解方式, 过度的妥协与容忍, 都会改变爱情的进程, 而结果如何, 是自然的, 是"不以人的意志"为转移的.
    • love is not "not black, but red". it is a mixed. Most of people dont know exactly where is the line to decide to repare or throw away, depending tp their feeling.
      • Do a cost analysis :P
        • 俺回来了,饺子!!!!!
        • Sometimes, people even do a feasibility analysis while they are caught in a trap of so-called love.
          Attitude means everything. Love is a chemical, but not everyone wants to be poisoned at any price. If the person you are attracted to only wants a flash in pan, what are you gonna do?
          • 后面的“爱情新解(10)Love is such a beautiful thing”会说到这个问题。简单地说,如果这不是你想要的,那也不是合适的。另外一方面,我们要审视自己,自己要得是否太多?这里得太多的意思是本来有些东西只能从你自己身上获得的
            而我们却希望对方给予:比如安全感,个人感觉真正的security来自自己。还有一辈子的许诺,too heavy,只能是一个良好的愿望。

            也许我马上贴出来的
            爱情新解(6) Are you C type or O type?
            能解答一部分你的问题?
            • Thanks a lot for your reply, 饺子MM
              Your this series reads pretty much like Carrie's in "Sex and the City" to me. To be honest, I used to think love is something eternity with one's 101% efforts. But now I think it's overly exposed, it is anything but words. To some extent, dating with one's own heart is more important than with a partner. The more friends you make, the less of yourself you hold for your own good. It's not about asking, neither giving nor simply receiving, it's the price you would like to pay for a enjoyable company. Love may not be for sale at any price, but I think loneliness is.
              • 嗯,有些意思。我没看过 "Sex and the city“,如果你有兴趣,请继续阅读,并交流看法。很多启发是从交流中产生的。我不知道所有答案,只是将我的体会写出来,也许会有些共鸣?