本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛In a business plan, it is very important to have an exit strategy. It shows the way out should that option become necessary. But during the Internet craze, IPOs were the common exit strategy. There was no illusion amongst top executives and initial investors that the game was “get rich quick and exit stage right.”

Does that say it all? !

Fortunately or unfortunately the concept of exit strategies has entered another domain: love, relationships and marriage.

I don’t know how people define these things any more. But I do see more and more people start to set up different kinds of exit strategies. Sex or convenience based relationships, prenuptial agreements or common-law spouses etc are all mechanisms that address the issue of what will happen when things go wrong.

Just out of curiosity, I was searching the Internet for prenuptial agreements. It used to have a limited applicability among wealthy people, who have much more to lose when a marriage goes wrong. But now even the average person needs a prenuptial. The argument is that both blue-collar and white-collar middle class individuals are more vulnerable and need protection when a relationship ends. For sure, it destroys all the romantic elements of a relationship. Before saying “I vow to love you through sickness and health, through the good and the bad, through richer and poorer. You are everything I need, and at this moment I know that all my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true. This is the moment I have waited my whole life for. I promise to give you my all and I know that I could not ask for more from you. I love you and always will. This is my solemn vow”, you’re discussing with your attorney the details of separating and dividing tangible assets. No matter how I try, I just don’t know what to make of this.

Having said that, the reality today is one out of two marriages end in divorce. In the business world, a failure rate this high ensures that an exit strategy would be in place. Anyone foolish enough to overlook this statistic has to be ready to accept the consequences of their inaction. Now 50% of Americans co-habitate. The same is true for Canadians, more of whom have formed a common-law relationship instead of marital one.

But I still cannot help but ask this question, “do we still have faith in love and marriage?” Here I define marriage as the willingness of committing oneself to live a life with another person, regardless if the vows are taken in front of God, the state or just each other. Is it contradictory to have a touching and sincere vow and a negotiated prenuptial agreement? For some people, there are no vows at all. Is it time for us to redefine everything?

I have absolutely no idea. What has gone wrong or is nothing wrong? Maybe my thinking has become obsolete. Or do material considerations outweigh faith and trust?

As a rebel, outcast and traditionalist, I’m determined to keep my faith.

Thanks for reading.

January 7, 2004 Hawaii更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net