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花瓣雨系列之 Toronto, no more weeping

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I dream of you in crimson,
morning sun blazing in glory,
maple leaves flaming on skyline;

Through silvery threads, you are sailing,
sheer wings gliding upon crescent,
light drizzle drifting in shine.

The city below railed by yellow ribbons,
streets inside muted in cold reminiscence;
The slim buildings huddle in silence,
as crowds hunting for evidence.

They spin time wheel to chase,
plow shadow of each angle,
your smiling posters traverse the entire city
carried by heartbroken citizens.

The coming spring is very cold,
even chilly as the breaking news;
candles and cards confide our yearning,
wish you heaven, a peace world to reside in.

You cup a red lantern into my dream,
pour gentle light upon my poem,
starlets gleaming in your eyes,
resonate in soft primal unison.

Whirlwinds take away my tear,
streams moisten my tone,
The angel, a presence very near,
walk you into the eternal heaven.

Breezes mindly blow its rustle,
beachs warmly cradle its ocean.
Where you lay shall burst beautiful blossom,
Who you suffered from, shall pay for his crime.

May wind bring in your fragrance,
may birds sing in your tune,
may love ones weave your hopes,
may tramp find your lantern...

I prime my dream in each line,
hone blue off my mind.
My voices echo with tsunami howling,
"Toronto, no more weeping! "更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • 枫下拾英 / 乐韵书香 / 花瓣雨系列之 Toronto, no more weeping
    • 第三人称来说,这已经很好了。试试看第一人称?没什么比得上生离死别,骨肉分离。这个最震撼。越震撼越容易拿奖(个人观点)
      • I perfer to pray for her. Just as a tribute.
        • 很希望你能有新尝试。作为另一个版本用第一人称写。你会看到不同的效果。闭上眼睛,你能看到什么?然后写出来。好文源于悲音。
          你想想,如果你能表现出悲剧的震撼,引起读者的共鸣,那么对于社会制止暴行也是个好事。成千上万人already prayed for her, 您的作品恐怕也会埋没再相同主题的作品堆里了。
          • Too busy. I have no time. Any way thans for suggestions. And also thanks all friends here.