写给大家 -psychologist(Doctor) @华人论坛:枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of

写给大家

psychologist(Doctor)

来加多年，多多少少经历了人和事。发现一个很共同
的现象，那就是大多数单身的女人，都自视很高。主要有
两种表现，第一种就是把自己描述得比实际好很多，包括长相和
其它的方面，另一种呢就是把对男人的要求提得很高，包括身高，体重，
职业，教育等等。殊不知，这个世界对男人和女人本身就是不公平的，特别在
年龄上。一个36， 37， 38 岁的男人完全可以找一个31， 32 或者再年青一点的
女人。而女人呢，则不太可能。
窈窕淑女，君子好求，各方面都很好的女人很难会被留下来的。所以呢如
果
你还真的对婚姻报有希望的话，把你对男人的要求只应该有一条：他是一个会真心
对你好的男人。
(未完待续，写中文太累)。

(#4919678@0)
Last Updated: 2008-12-14

I just want to say -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 {1887} (#4919749@0)

nice writing. you can try 在线中文输入 -trader123(abc); 2008-12-14 (#4919776@0)
points agreed on -trader123(abc); 2008-12-14 (#4919777@0)
Your English is not broken -psychologist(Doctor); 2008-12-14 {1077} (#4919794@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I do not think my post is intended for young folks like you. Your English is pretty good and I guess you must get the local education here. The young generation really knows what they are looking for, but not the ones in their thirties or even forties. Love for them is luxury, I do not think many of them still believe in love, but without love, they are afraid of stepping in sex or marriage, they do not feel secure, they do not feel safe. Most of them had education from China, and most of them are still very traditional and most of them still wishing to have kids and have a happy family, then the key point is that you can not be too picky on man or woman.
For men in their 30s, for those responsible folks, they will be very careful about the word "love", they know clearly what love means. Love means too much for them, love means he need give all he has to the one he loves and he is ready for it if he already built a strong base like career, money, experience for it. But men also know in this tough world, it is too hard to find the one he loves, ......更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

Traditional? Are you sure? I heard it is more open in China than here. I used to be very traditional. But what I have encountered make me feel sex could happen without love. -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919808@0)

中国过去的传统是三妻四妾啊。:D -wangqingshui(忘情水); 2008-12-14 (#4919813@0)

切，你怎么不说武则天，慈禧太后？我前天买了一本小说about England's Virgin Queen，Elizabeth I -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919825@0)

哈，你最近买的书还不少，啥时写点读后感吧。。 -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919834@0)

Bought four books. -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 {124} (#4919845@0)
Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope.
Alison Weir's The Innocent Traitor ; Elizabeth I
Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture.

不好意思我一本都没读过，啥时介绍一下你的读后感吧，一定很有意思：） -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919865@0)

PM me your MSN. I will talk with you individually. -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919917@0)

就数量上来说女性才两个特例，和男性的情况比少多了。 -wangqingshui(忘情水); 2008-12-14 (#4919848@0)

It is upto u, girl..... woman should be responsible for herself, not others..... -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919818@0)
you are right. -psychologist(Doctor); 2008-12-14 {549} (#4919847@0)
I am talking about people in Canada, not the ones in China. The Chinese culture here are too different with the one in China. completely agree that sex can happen without love. But how many percent of Chinese women here can accpet that? Western culture out sex and money on top of love and marriage, if you can not have good sex, and if you do not have enough money, for them, love is nothing. So they know eachother so well, from kitchen to bed, then if they find out the love, then they will have the marriage, a long and stabe and sweet marriage.

if you are ever even close to a psychologist, you will not say any words like this as they are so wrong. -int_arts(int_arts); 2008-12-14 (#4919883@0)

nice writing -wangqingshui(忘情水); 2008-12-14 (#4919811@0)
这段倒还有些道理。 -int_arts(int_arts); 2008-12-14 (#4919839@0)

same here.... -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919844@0)

别的没资格评论。最后一段，完全赞同其中的每一个字。老兄是个有真料的人啊！ -mapleabc(垂钩闲看云戏风); 2008-12-14 (#4919895@0)

接砖！每个人都有自由怎么评价自己和设定标准你选择自己未来的另一半。如果她们对现状的满意程度高于降低标准将就一个平常的男人，他们的选择无可厚非。当然她们今后会不会后悔也是她们自己的事。如果写中文太累，可以写你熟练的文字。 -wangqingshui(忘情水); 2008-12-14 (#4919750@0)

大多数女人对婚姻的要求，“他是一个会真心对你好的男人”，这是前提，不是唯一，且与年龄无关。看来LZ不过是个蒙古大夫。 -avantasia(酒久藏); 2008-12-14 (#4919766@0)

How do you know 他是一个会真心对你好的男人? How to explain the high rate of divorce ? -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919771@0)

两个问题没有必然联系。 -wangqingshui(忘情水); 2008-12-14 (#4919784@0)
我想婚姻不仅需要AFFECTION，更深层的契合也很重要吧。还有就是对方人品也要好。碰到个特别烂的，就算你再好也没有用。 -trader123(abc); 2008-12-14 (#4919788@0)

yeah. I agree with you. -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919801@0)

Ho-Ho-Ho -seekingyou(听见啦啦鼓叫还不种庄); 2008-12-14 {251} (#4919790@0)

其实也并不完全是这些原因, 就象买东西, 逛的多了, 反而不知道选哪个好了, 有一些自视清高的女的, 我想那样的男人也未必喜欢, 相反, 也有一些不提气的男人, 也许这两者遇到一起的比较多, 其实男生女生, 不管什么时候, 大多还追求的是感觉, 两个人在一起舒服, 默契的感觉.

楼主可能要挨很多砖头了----------“各方面都很好的女人很难会被留下来的。”这样的话能说出来么？ -mapleabc(垂钩闲看云戏风); 2008-12-14 (#4919791@0)

and vice versa... 30+ single man without girlfriend/ wife are good? -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919799@0)

我没说“各方面都很好的男人可能被留下来”啊。 -mapleabc(垂钩闲看云戏风); 2008-12-14 (#4919806@0)

that's the reality. Accept it. -psychologist(Doctor); 2008-12-14 (#4919802@0)

I know it is reality,too.但这话也就只适合跟自己的孩子说说吧？曾经看过某网站的征婚女生，明确要求男方一定要大4岁----12岁的太多了。相反，没看到一个男性征婚者要求女方一定要大1岁的。 -mapleabc(垂钩闲看云戏风); 2008-12-14 (#4919840@0)

99%同意, 特别是这句,"第一种就是把自己描述得比实际好很多，包括长相和其它的方面" 笨女人总以为自己很聪明,丑女人总以为自己很漂亮, 这不是我说的呀,刘德华说的. -xiaoshou(即然挥之不去,那就让); 2008-12-14 (#4919795@0)

Are you really a psychologist? hehe, just curious:) -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919810@0)

Mission impossible. -int_arts(int_arts); 2008-12-14 (#4919819@0)
Maybe he is a psychiast. -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919829@0)

Mission impossible. -int_arts(int_arts); 2008-12-14 (#4919843@0)

觉得楼主的ID起得特别好，说明了很多事。 -int_arts(int_arts); 2008-12-14 (#4919814@0)

其实都是骗人的。就是让你POUR ALL YOUR GUTS. 我学校里的心理咨询对留学生是免费的，我去过无数次了，没有太大用。 -practisem(makes perfect); 2008-12-14 (#4919835@0)

:)))))))) -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919874@0)
我看有效。心理咨询，能让一个人心理不出毛病或维持在一个比较正常的范围内，就算有效了。你觉得无效只是因为没有出毛病而已，这正说明了效果，呵呵。 -mapleabc(垂钩闲看云戏风); 2008-12-14 (#4919906@0)

points agreed on -trader123(abc) -prodigy(世道人心悬利剑); 2008-12-14 (#4919836@0)

其实LZ的两个论点我基本同意，而且多伦多的男单也同样如此。很多人都对自己的评价高于别人对TA的评价，很多人的期望都不切实际地高。而且很多人把外在的东西看得太重，男的对长相要求高，女的对工作收入要求高。从而否定了很多可能的候选，没有机会开始了解TA的内心。共勉。 -wangqingshui(忘情水); 2008-12-14 (#4919842@0)

其实单身是一种选择，和心理没有多达的关系。我觉得大部分单身的心理都是正常和健康的。与其歪曲自己的意愿，接受一个不想接受的，还不如保持单身来的心理更健康点。 -rolandxxr(温柔一刀); 2008-12-14 (#4919860@0)

楼主请继续，别被我们砸晕了，呵呵：） -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919894@0)

我觉得楼主是个有真料的人！你们越砸，他越能激发出思维的火花。让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！！我已经粘贴了３段了，收获不小。　　　 -mapleabc(垂钩闲看云戏风); 2008-12-14 (#4919915@0)

那就好，呵呵：） -catlarge(cat_at_large); 2008-12-14 (#4919939@0)

楼主请继续，别被我们砸晕了，呵呵：） -catlarge(cat_at_large) -int_arts(int_arts); 2008-12-14 (#4919902@0)

You guys got this point because you wanted to live this way. You all are owned man and women, owned by your jobs, your money, even your houses. -townsl(风筝); 2008-12-14 (#4919912@0)

嗯！好，我们一直有这感觉，但没敢说，说了怕打鸡报复，以后找不到ＬＰ，，，哈哈 -makefun(说着玩的); 2008-12-14 (#4920230@0)

除了最后一句,没一句对的... -proserpine(沉香); 2008-12-14 (#4920276@0)

你这话说的很有道理，对大多数单身的男人也很合适。我也经历了些人和事，到头来我发现，男女心态端正最重要，也许是互相影响吧，我看心态好的不多 -xingyun13(待到); 2008-12-14 (#4920554@0)

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