本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛It is said "Time and tide wait for no man". I wasn't aware that time could elapse so quickly and I didn't even realise it is another Valentine's Day. For me, life couldn't be so plain as anyone's, sometimes fate arranges to add a little bit flavor to my life by imposing sort of harshness on me. Probably lonelienss is not only my own problem, but applies to a lot of other people as well. Occasionally I would listen to Chopin's music, a little bit sad feelings emerge and tears roll down on my cheeks. I always console myself that I am a brave lady and shall never cry. However, it just happens spontaneously. I like day dreaming, recalling the happy childhood times and doing nothing at all. Probably. I know addicition to the opposite gender will not save me although basic instinct allows me while moral standards would send a rejection note to my brain. So for long time, I didn't dare meet any male net friends anymore.
One thing just happened that I tried to make some pen pals with different background and one encouragement note light up my eyes. Through all the PMs from Rolia, it more or less shows some patience, enthusiasm, appreciation and guidance. I childishly believe that he could be a friend worth making and probably we just meet in reality, (well, one reason is pretty simple, because some people think I am a guy, and I want to prove that I am female). I couldn't believe he could send me tons of text messages before meeting. He asked my birth date and told me from now on I would have a birthday with a gift and wishes every year. He told me that he would be willing to become my big brother and try to sort out some of my problems and offer some help. Since he is sincere and optimistic in the friendship, I decided to take the challange for the meeting.
Meeting took about one and half hour in a coffee shop while I was a bit late and he was also late. In order not to be so embarrassed just sitting in the coffee shop without buying anything. I bought two medium sized coffee. Around half an hour later, he showed up. I do not know how to describe the appearance of a man. So basically, no surprise. He is a normal guy. Anyways, if he wants to become a friend, I would take it. He asked me about my impression on his appearance, whether there is a difference from my imagination. I honestly replied, no, I never judge a book by its cover. Of course, a little secret to release, I also fancy handsome guys... This is no longer important.He asked me whether I need to have something to eat. I rejected. We chatted a bit and I talked about some negative feelings about myself and situation with the anticipation that he could give me some encouragement or spiritual help. I know now all I could do is to rely on myself. Just it is too fearful for me to walk out of this step. Well, I wish he could be with me for a while although my time is also precious, because I tend to trust him and I feel lonely and helpless. In this sense, I guess I am too selfish, I couldn't expect something from other people without initially offering or exchanging something. Time for him to leave. Probably he really wanted to leave, probably he just wanted to get rid of me, because I am not pretty and happy.
I waited for a day for further correspondence. No reply, no follow up. On the evening of a second day, I sent him a text message, I simply said we are not suitable to be friends. He just replied why say so... I may have a reason to say so. It wouldn't take long time to say just how are you even someone is in the busiest schedule. I clearly know I should stop text him or it might lead to a harassment. The whole situation seems to be so ridiculous for me. When you open the heart to talk to someone, he might think it is irritating. That's how the net friend meeting ends.
A friend who lives far away ever told me " We meet and get to know each other by CHANCE, become friends by CHOICE, and are will still be friends by DECISION."
To be continued更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
One thing just happened that I tried to make some pen pals with different background and one encouragement note light up my eyes. Through all the PMs from Rolia, it more or less shows some patience, enthusiasm, appreciation and guidance. I childishly believe that he could be a friend worth making and probably we just meet in reality, (well, one reason is pretty simple, because some people think I am a guy, and I want to prove that I am female). I couldn't believe he could send me tons of text messages before meeting. He asked my birth date and told me from now on I would have a birthday with a gift and wishes every year. He told me that he would be willing to become my big brother and try to sort out some of my problems and offer some help. Since he is sincere and optimistic in the friendship, I decided to take the challange for the meeting.
Meeting took about one and half hour in a coffee shop while I was a bit late and he was also late. In order not to be so embarrassed just sitting in the coffee shop without buying anything. I bought two medium sized coffee. Around half an hour later, he showed up. I do not know how to describe the appearance of a man. So basically, no surprise. He is a normal guy. Anyways, if he wants to become a friend, I would take it. He asked me about my impression on his appearance, whether there is a difference from my imagination. I honestly replied, no, I never judge a book by its cover. Of course, a little secret to release, I also fancy handsome guys... This is no longer important.He asked me whether I need to have something to eat. I rejected. We chatted a bit and I talked about some negative feelings about myself and situation with the anticipation that he could give me some encouragement or spiritual help. I know now all I could do is to rely on myself. Just it is too fearful for me to walk out of this step. Well, I wish he could be with me for a while although my time is also precious, because I tend to trust him and I feel lonely and helpless. In this sense, I guess I am too selfish, I couldn't expect something from other people without initially offering or exchanging something. Time for him to leave. Probably he really wanted to leave, probably he just wanted to get rid of me, because I am not pretty and happy.
I waited for a day for further correspondence. No reply, no follow up. On the evening of a second day, I sent him a text message, I simply said we are not suitable to be friends. He just replied why say so... I may have a reason to say so. It wouldn't take long time to say just how are you even someone is in the busiest schedule. I clearly know I should stop text him or it might lead to a harassment. The whole situation seems to be so ridiculous for me. When you open the heart to talk to someone, he might think it is irritating. That's how the net friend meeting ends.
A friend who lives far away ever told me " We meet and get to know each other by CHANCE, become friends by CHOICE, and are will still be friends by DECISION."
To be continued更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net