This topic has been archived. It cannot be replied.
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枫下佳缘 / 快乐单身 / 成了单亲妈妈快半年了。儿子还不到两岁。
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-18
{589}
(#3087185@0)
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潜力贴。签名
-johnnyhatesjazz(Rock and Roll);
2006-7-18
(#3087192@0)
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what are you sayingyou want to maraige him just because he can pay you,do you think it is a good idea?
you shopuld try to find a wstern guy.
-yellotree(tom);
2006-7-19
{122}
(#3090644@0)
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No! 孩子会长大离开你, 接下去的40年, 你打算忍下去还是再闹一次婚变?
-7y7(醉里吴音);
2006-7-18
(#3087199@0)
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我觉得你的生活经验还不合适给她出主意~~~JJ你比较强,还不理解孩子对母亲的重要性.
-thiamin(梅干菜烧肉);
2006-7-18
(#3087309@0)
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It all depends on what you want: a husband for you or a father for your son. It sounds like he is a better father .
-asker(answer);
2006-7-18
(#3087202@0)
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引用快乐单身一位同学的话：凭什么女人到了中年就是个男的就行？
-zizhe(字者);
2006-7-18
(#3087204@0)
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Definitely.
-asker(answer);
2006-7-18
(#3087208@0)
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坐着说话不腿疼，你就误导吧。。。
-noproblem(大可以);
2006-7-18
(#3087228@0)
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Agree with "noproblem" because he/she faces the reality.
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-18
(#3087325@0)
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Is love exclusive to reality? I myself believe they are inclusive.
-asker(answer);
2006-7-18
(#3087401@0)
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What is the difference between 激情 and 热情? ("可是因为平庸，我找不到激情；因为相貌太一般，我激不起热情。")
-faen(Александра);
2006-7-18
(#3087222@0)
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My understanding is that 激情 is spontaneous desire including sexual attraction and 热情 is authentic passion including spiritual expectation .
-asker(answer);
2006-7-18
(#3087244@0)
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Thanks, it makes a lot of sense. Nevertheless, I am still not clear why 相貌 has more to do with 热情 rather than 激情...
-faen(Александра);
2006-7-18
(#3087255@0)
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Think about how girls will behave themselves while facing handsome guys. :)
-asker(answer);
2006-7-18
(#3087369@0)
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Sure, different people have different definition of handsomeness. I think Johnny Depp is more handsome than George Clooney, even though many girls disagree . :)
-asker(answer);
2006-7-18
(#3087380@0)
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一句话，爱不起来。但没准，处久了，会因感激加孤独而对他产生感情。
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-18
(#3087247@0)
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So why force the feeling onto yourself? Why not just go as you see?
-faen(Александра);
2006-7-18
(#3087266@0)
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怎么写的这么无奈呢, 你和他接触过, 都不知道自己该如何, 大家这么道听途说的, 怎么能给你正确的见解呢.
-peoplesoso(peoplesoso);
2006-7-18
(#3087235@0)
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当局者迷，旁观者清嘛。
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-18
(#3087240@0)
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不要对自己丧失希望，会找到一个你爱的也爱你的人。坚强一点。
-mine888(mine);
2006-7-18
(#3087271@0)
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对于移民来说, 加拿大的生活中有太多的无耐, 可以开开心心已经很好了, 如果不开心就改变, 如果开心, 就别自扰了, 不过在这里发泄一下也好.
-peoplesoso(peoplesoso);
2006-7-18
(#3087278@0)
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可以采取鱼和熊掌兼得的战略：留下这个帮你养孩子且作为劳工备份。然后骑驴找马。寻找激情。这样还有一个好处，既然你小有姿色，你可以找到很多激情，天天激情，到处激情。这个男人帮你养家/带孩子/劳工备份。
-yizhiyan(微笑看人间);
2006-7-18
(#3087243@0)
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太............
-peoplesoso(peoplesoso);
2006-7-18
(#3087263@0)
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别人真诚的上来请教，你就在这里冷嘲热讽。至于嘛。
-mine888(mine);
2006-7-18
(#3087264@0)
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这怎么是冷嘲热讽？ 这是有一说一
-yizhiyan(微笑看人间);
2006-7-18
(#3087270@0)
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Do you think any guy would allow woman do that? if so, that guy would be either too naive or no charactor
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3088637@0)
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现在的女国移发贴都很开放、大胆。
-greensnail(青铜时代);
2006-7-18
(#3087260@0)
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Only a fool falls in the same trap twice. No love, no marriage.
-toby(Mr.Big);
2006-7-18
(#3087268@0)
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同意试婚
-bewitched(一品黄山渐行渐远);
2006-7-18
(#3087285@0)
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平庸没什么不好的.一般平庸的人对对方要求不高,所以你生活回比较轻松.不过鉴于你的情况,建议再相处一段再说,觉得你不爱他.如果结果还是你不爱他,还是别害人家.
-thiamin(梅干菜烧肉);
2006-7-18
(#3087300@0)
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梅博的话，看似简单，实为箴言。。。
-noproblem(大可以);
2006-7-18
(#3087358@0)
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I am not so sure that guy is in love with LZ yet.
-asker(answer);
2006-7-18
(#3087415@0)
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真说到点子上了，就是觉得跟他在一起没压力，轻松，就享受他的关照就行了。但是，转念一想，说不定真接了婚，天长日久，他会从奴隶变成将军呢。
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-18
(#3088272@0)
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Why don't you want to be a wife of a "将军"?
-barefoot(Barefooter);
2006-7-19
(#3088506@0)
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如果连这一点你都看不清, 还是不要草率结婚...
-meizi(梅子);
2006-7-19
(#3089188@0)
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A very good point....
-barefoot(Barefooter);
2006-7-19
(#3088502@0)
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坑 - 鉴定完毕。
-hahaha_ly(咳....);
2006-7-18
(#3087327@0)
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刚单身半年，再等等吧。平庸的人也有可爱之处，只是现在你似乎还没有爱上他。你说得挺直的－－现在的你看重的还是像貌和工作，即使接受他也只是为了找个人帮你养孩子，对他不公平。爱情还没提到议事日程上来，不适宜论婚嫁。
-ruoer(乡下人);
2006-7-18
(#3087405@0)
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Agree 100%
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3088640@0)
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见识不一般,估计您是三班的吧.
-www4000(Wayne);
2006-7-19
(#3090488@0)
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啥是"三班的"?
-ruoer(乡下人);
2006-7-20
(#3091547@0)
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日久能够生情，情人眼里会出西施。什么样的男人不平庸？没见过。
-rollor(Rollor);
2006-7-18
(#3087411@0)
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单亲妈妈不是也挺好的吗，试着享受这段快乐，什么也不想，过半年再说
-linxia7_7(qianqian);
2006-7-18
(#3087604@0)
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I'm afraid I cannot agree. I believe for guys, the woman's age is quite quite important. If you getting older (wish we don't ), you have less chance regardless your good looking/personality etc.
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3088644@0)
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天哪，爱情，你把爱情放在哪里？no love, no marriage. 感觉你是不会爱上他的。人生路何其漫漫，为什么不对自己好一点？两个不相爱的人生活在一起，是很痛苦的，对双方都不公平。
-wangyuyanrl(Xiaobao);
2006-7-18
(#3087606@0)
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没有爱情，但可以有亲情。
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-18
(#3088274@0)
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用亲情代替爱情,是自欺.自欺只能一时,很难一世吧.
-www4000(Wayne);
2006-7-19
(#3090503@0)
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就这光景还挑食阿？？？？
-automaster(修车师傅);
2006-7-18
(#3087705@0)
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不挑不挑，看见个饿狼我们就扑上去，打死。
-wangkeke(wangkeke);
2006-7-18
(#3087715@0)
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hahaha.......一顿粉拳伺候。
-wangyuyanrl(Xiaobao);
2006-7-18
(#3087781@0)
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you r so cool.
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-20
(#3091749@0)
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My heart feel cold after reading your note. a woman with a kid really make her much lower than the one without kid? or you talking about middle age?
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3088760@0)
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不要这么着急么，你们才认识多久呀？
再处半年，时间长了相貌就会被大脑自动忽略的。那时也许你习惯这个人了，也许你又找到合适的了。时间解决一切。
-bagua(八周刊住加记者);
2006-7-18
(#3087742@0)
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请国男们发言：一个中年女人带一个一岁的孩子,有多大可能再找到一份真爱,找到一个能使她倾心相爱的男人.她的选择面又有多大呢?
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-19
(#3088419@0)
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说实话, 能够把你的孩子当成他自己孩子一样看待的, 中国人还真不是很多, 如果你碰到的刚好是, 一定好好珍惜.
-littlepear(nonamebrand);
2006-7-19
(#3088467@0)
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Do you really think a single mom should find a guy who treat her kid like his? the fact is he is not the father, he is the mom's BF/husband, as long as the guy & kid are friedly is good enough. Please correct me.
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3088753@0)
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要搁以前我还真不敢说也不清楚. 只是最近听说了分别发生在我两个老乡身上的事, 所以多了句嘴.两个老乡皆有些姿色. 一个在加拿大, 有一女儿. 认识一男朋友后最近进入同居阶段. 另一个在美国有两个女儿, 跟一老外已结婚几年. 在美国那个, 老外LG非常爱她, 对孩子也很好, 不是只是FRIENDLY的好,而是象一个父亲一样地关心教育. 他说: 因为爱LP, 所以更爱她的女儿, 因为从她们的身上看到了LP. 在加拿大的这个, 也不能说不好, 就是FRIENDLY吧. 但观念是: 从女友的女儿身上看到了她的前夫. 咣......
-littlepear(nonamebrand);
2006-7-19
{369}
(#3088809@0)
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Thank you for sharing. the guy could see the exhusband from daughter? is this guy no kid? eh! Now I understand your point better. Thanks
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3088833@0)
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这个恐怕谁都不能给出一个数字. 但要相信自己, 如果你足够好, 会有你喜欢的男人也同样喜欢你, 从而接受并爱你的孩子的. 可以说, 我就是一个例子. 我觉得我很满意现在的婚姻. 生活得很幸福.
-meizi(梅子);
2006-7-19
(#3089197@0)
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If you don't mind, can you please list sth make you feel "很满意现在的婚姻. 生活得很幸福" Thanksl sometimes, I'm so cunfused, even don't know what will make me "满意"
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3089387@0)
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"what will make me '满意'" is very subjective in nature.... it's just a personal feeling.... something like this person likes "luo bo", another likes "bai cai".... Follow your own lead/feelings...(not able to type Chinese)
-barefoot(Barefooter);
2006-7-19
{26}
(#3089509@0)
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我想每个人都有自己的期望, 每个人都会不一样. 所以最重要的知道自己想要的, 然后找到一个能满足你那些需求的人, 而且你也能满足他的需求...这样的婚姻就算满足了.我以前也不知道自己需要什么. 幸运的是碰到了现在的LG, 才发现和谐的婚姻完全是可能的...
我觉得好的婚姻一定是这样的:
1. 双方在情感上相互依赖, 互相欣赏
2. 经济上有保障
3. 价值观大体相同
4. 双方都注意对方的感受
5. 有矛盾时, 双方本着relationship 第一, Task 第二的共识, 先调和感情, 再解决问题.
6. 经常有些romantic的小插曲
就想到这么多. 当然信任是基础. 在婚姻初期, 双方努力, 定下一个postive的基调很重要.
-meizi(梅子);
2006-7-19
{407}
(#3089536@0)
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very very ""满意" your reply. No wonder you have a good marriage, because you know how to handle it. Your suggestion help me big time. I printed it for my future refrence. Thanks from bottom of my heart. Thank you1
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3089641@0)
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I am glad you agree with me. Good luck.
-meizi(梅子);
2006-7-19
(#3090023@0)
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能把婚姻看到这种地步的人,看来是认真思考过的人.继续思考~
-www4000(Wayne);
2006-7-19
(#3090527@0)
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能告诉我你的现任丈夫是国男还是洋人吗？我听说的种种都是国男不可能把别人的孩子当作自己的养，只有洋人会？
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-20
(#3090941@0)
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是加拿大本地人. 国人能把孩子当自己的也有. 这完全取决于那个男人的价值观和爱你的程度, 还有孩子本人接纳对方的程度. 这都需要一个过程.并不是一开始大家都很好的, 是大家都信任, 努力的结果. 其中作为中间载体的妈妈和妻子, 一定要做好调和各种关系的润滑济作用.
日常生活中不可能没有矛盾, 特别是教育理念的不同. 有一点我做到了的就是: 无论怎样, 我都相信LG是出于好的出发点的. 这在我们初期的磨合中起到很好的作用.
经过三年的共同相处, 现在LG和孩子感情上完全融合了, 就是父亲和儿子自然而然的关系了.
-meizi(梅子);
2006-7-20
{355}
(#3091070@0)
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谢谢分享。但愿我有足够的运气遇到那样的男人。
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-20
(#3091904@0)
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如果是女儿的话,就我的感觉比有个儿子更好接受. 你的baby是儿子, 估计难了点.
-bagua(八周刊住加记者);
2006-7-20
(#3091731@0)
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Thank you for telling the truth. If you have time, ask your guy friends, and post what they think. I'm sure they'll say no
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-20
(#3091758@0)
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You mentioned that the guy supports your son, I just wandering if you would be able to support your son yourself, maybe you have better chance.
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3088654@0)
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人老则色衰，色衰则爱驰，爱驰则恩情绝。还是不能以貌取人，相貌好的男人自视甚高，在一起了也不见得舒服，到时候更有你受的了。
-xuexue(好女不过百);
2006-7-19
(#3088674@0)
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相貌好的男人自视甚高, is this ture??I thought only very interligent guy are自视甚, which dosn't bother me at all.
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3089022@0)
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Actually I feel 相貌好的男人more 自视甚高 than those intelligent guys who are not 相貌好.
-asker(answer);
2006-7-19
(#3089067@0)
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come on, you girls don't know men.... true 男人's do NOT care about their looking.... 男人who自视甚高becaise of 相貌好...are gays....Note: one's looking and one's appearance are two different concepts...
-barefoot(Barefooter);
2006-7-19
{72}
(#3089119@0)
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Cool
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3089379@0)
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有人说: 老公要找"三心"牌的---外人看了死心，自己看了担心，老婆看了舒心。:)))
-littlepear(nonamebrand);
2006-7-19
(#3088814@0)
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Smart! If useing this rule, LZ may be not "舒心", not "担心".
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-19
(#3089016@0)
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:)))))))) Where can we get this type of guys?
-asker(answer);
2006-7-19
(#3089072@0)
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是啊, 那是个大问题. 多数情况是: 别人看了担心, 自己看了舒心, 女友/老婆看了死心 : )))))
-littlepear(nonamebrand);
2006-7-20
(#3091022@0)
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这个“自己” 指谁？
-ca000(从零开始);
2006-7-19
(#3089540@0)
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同性恋
-bagua(八周刊住加记者);
2006-7-20
(#3091470@0)
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既然爱不起来,就别勉强了. 不能因为有人现在能分担你的生活担子,就草率决定. 真的生活悠闲下来以后,你会还有其他更多想法,万一哪天遇到个爱的了,再离一次?我的建议是生活有难处就自己抗, 再找就找个自己满意的.
-judy_an(绿腰);
2006-7-19
(#3089129@0)
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NO. You will not feel happy with him.
-snowspring(orchid);
2006-7-19
(#3089988@0)
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我实在没有信心找到真正满意的爱人。看看周围，那么多单妈，和单女。。。。单男却少之又少。
-danma(happy singlemom);
2006-7-20
(#3090943@0)
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只不过是半年时间,为何不给自己更多的时间享受单身的清静悠闲呢?
-mark201(mark201);
2006-7-20
(#3090963@0)
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俺周围怎么都是单男呢? 单女少之又少。
-bagua(八周刊住加记者);
2006-7-20
(#3091467@0)
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ask your 单男, will they take a single mother? LZ 's worry is very reasonable. Most chinese guy is afraid to involve with single mother, doesn't matter she is good looking/personality/carreer.
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-20
(#3091513@0)
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一般离异男单就不太在意是不是有个拖油瓶了. 未婚男单就是觉得找个带拖油瓶的有点亏. 一般的说.
-bagua(八周刊住加记者);
2006-7-20
(#3091753@0)
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With all the respect, the fact is 离异男单(including who alreay had kid stay with mom)only want to find the F who never married, or divorced without kid. I'm not tring to argue, just hope LZ can really think about it
-cristina(cristina);
2006-7-20
(#3091847@0)
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日久见真情还是再相处一段时间吧.个人认为找老伴急不得,宁缺勿乱,要不下半辈子很伤心劳神,还更费时间.
-stockwalker(傲狮群熊);
2006-7-19
{85}
(#3090010@0)
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take a little while to justify a person. keep the relationship and wait to see.
-hucan(whocan);
2006-7-19
(#3090028@0)
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我觉得你对他根本没什么好感，何苦要勉强自己？连你自己都说离婚后的日子比以前快乐，那你为何还要放弃这份现成的快乐进入一个不知道会怎样的结局里边去呢？不错，他现在是对你好，可是人总是有缺点的，等你们生活在一起之后，这些缺点就会悉数暴露。如果你对他没有什么爱，你的忍受能力会很低，你会看不顺眼他。。。总之，没有爱的婚姻会很痛苦，你想想吧！
-whatislove(什么是爱);
2006-7-20
{186}
(#3091739@0)
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那看你再婚的目的是什么. 如果你还是想从两人的相处中得到些感情上的满足的话就不能找这样的. 想想... 现在你们刚刚相处你都一点兴趣都没有, 这长长下半辈子怎么过啊!
-letempsdescerises(附庸风雅ING);
2006-7-20
(#3091854@0)